Although it is a little hazy, I remember the days of triplet infants; of being trapped in the house for weeks, of staying in my pajamas for days, of doing nothing but taking care of babies for hours at a time. It was suffocating, exhausting and sometimes downright depressing. But somehow, it was also exhilarating, rewarding, and utterly blissful. Having children is amazing, it defines the statement ” words cannot describe”. This is coming from me, an independent strong-headed women who spent about 20+ years denying I would ever have children. Children are a sacrifice, a huge one, but for me, it has been worth triple the triplet drama.
Recently I’ve read a few books where pregnancy, while not the focus, was part of the story. In one, a women suffers repeated miscarriages and never ends up pregnant. In another, repeated adoptions fell through. I know of a women right now pregnant with multiples who is suffering a great loss….and hopefully a miracle. Some of the women closest to me have suffered miscarriages, multiple times. I was blessed to have needed very little help getting pregnant, a successful (albeit difficult) pregnancy and 3 healthy smart children. Life has been very good to me and I sometimes I can’t help but wonder…why me?
The holidays are always an emotional time. Christmas with children is beautiful and so much fun! At the same time, they are off school for two weeks. TWO LONG WEEKS in which you are reminded of how wonderful children are but also how tedious, emotional and self-sacrificing parenthood is. January has always been a difficult month for me. It is a new year with new resolutions and the month I turn one year older. But life has been really good this past year as my kids become more independent, and I embrace our big move and the awesome recreation our new city offers. So this New Year my resolution is to be more present and aware of life in all its goodness.
So as we settle into a new year and old routines, I am thankful. I am thankful for the insane amount of work triplet infants were. I’m thankful for the commotion of 3-year olds. I am thankful for girlfriends, who understand motherhood and know the importance of letting it all go from-time-to time.
Today I began to wallow in the record high temps and complete lack of snow in what is usually a gorgeous white wonderland of a city by now. So I packed away my spanking new Nordic skis, which have been taunting me for weeks under my Christmas tree, and drove the kids to the local skate rink. I figure skated for several years as a teenager and I had been dreaming of the day I could take my daughters on the ice. It was ambitious to take triplet 3-year olds ice-skating for the first time by myself. It could have been a disaster. But it was awesome. By the end of the session, they were insistent on making their way around the ice without any help. They also insisted on signing up for lessons and coming back the next day to try again. Most importantly, I relished the moment and was reminded, life is pretty fantastic.