Triplets have made me a tight-ass. I like to have a plan every morning, a routine we follow every day, and a goal for every endeavor. This makes life run smooth and helps us accomplish our goals while keeping things under control (well, whatever “control” a family of multiples allows). I know what is going to happen and when. But, as my dear husband demonstrated this morning, having too much control can sometimes sap the fun right out of life.
Yesterday a kink was thrown in our vacation. The triplet’s dearest uncle Nick had to have emergency surgery to remove his gallblader (surgery went fine, he is doing well). Grammy left this morning to be with Nick as he recovered from surgery but grammy, grandpa and Nick will be back Sunday. So today we made do without the best helper a daughter with triplets could ever hope for, her mom. Now there are plenty of days I handle the babies on my own but with the kids out of their element, a little off schedule and sick (nasty colds AGAIN…it has been about two weeks of wellness after all), I love to have grammy around as much as possible. But as I lost my cool today, daddy showed me how to bend the rules and just relax and be in the NOW.
It started when all the babies ended up in bed with their dad this AM rather than getting sun-screened on for our walk on the beach. I immediately felt uneasy “wait, if we procrastinate too long, we will never make it down to the beach and back in time for lunch and naps”. But, the kids were having a blast climbing off and on the bed, squealing and jumping on their papa. Who cared if Mia was diaperless and the other two had on half their swimsuits, everyone was having fun.
Then, when we finally started getting mobilized, the kids began to hug, cuddle, wrestle and kiss on each other. It was absolutely adorable but I didn’t realize just how cute they were being because I was too focused on our goal of getting out the door to relish the moment. My dear husband suggested I take a step back and stop focusing on where we were going but enjoy the present moment; we were on vacation after all. And, he was right. Again the kids were having a blast, daddy was having fun but I stood there worried and anxious. After taking a deep breath and settling in on the sofa to watch the sillies, I was reminded how precious and unique this triplet experience is.
Mia and Josie sharing a kiss
It happened again down at the beach. I had all three babies by the water and they had a meltdown. All three began clinging to me and crying. Mia had sand in her eyes, Josie just took a rare tumble and Marcus was scared of the water. I looked over at the family next to me and their little tot was happily crawling through the water, perfectly content with the world as his mom watched from a safe distance in her lounge-chair. Why were my 3 children so unhappy with life and why did they require so much from me? After a few minutes of chaos, daddy came down to the water to lend a hand. We all went back up the beach as I fumed. Daddy began making sandcastles with the bucket and the kids immediately stopped crying and intently watched. Within minutes the kids came out from their stupor and life was jolly again as they took turns knocking down the sandcastles.
After getting back from the beach, the kids were hungry, tired and full of sand. Meltdowns again. Daddy saved the day by jumping in the giant whirlpool tub with all three babies and silliness ensued. The tears disappeared and smiles spread across the babies faces. Although taking baths in the middle of the day was a little out of the ordinary, the kids were happy and clean!
Just the other day my sister and I were talking about how Daddy’s ways are a little unconventional but they work. I will never forget our beach trip last Spring. My sister and I went out shopping while the “big boys” watched the kids. We received a picture of Uncle Nick having a beer down at the pier bar with Mia strapped to his chest. Sure, we wouldn’t have chosen to walk down to the pier bar with five children under the age of 3 and have a drink as a way to pass time but the kids were all happy, everyone got fed, and they even almost all made it to bed on time.
The point is just like having desert for dinner, sleeping instead of going to work on an overcast day, and taking a bubble bath with three babies at 11 AM, daddy’s ways may be unconventional to some but they make life exciting. Who knows what the rest of the day may bring. I just may skip my run; have a margarita while the kids nap and pull the stick out from my ass.
Later this afternoon….I am enjoying the NOW
Uncle Matt, cousin Nathan, Mia, Marcus, Josie and I at the baby pool.
Karla, I love this. I actually talk to a lot of moms who have the same issues with planning, being a tight-ass (yes, including me with my one – and I must admit, easy – baby. I get all worked up if nap time isn’t happening when it should be, while Justin simply pulls out his guitar, plays some tunes for Nora and says, it’s ok, it’s just a nap. I remember when I had my six-week checkup after having Nora, my doc (who has four kids of her own) was like, “You know, Dads always do everything differently – but that’s alright.” I try to remember that when I’m feeling annoyed or that I don’t have control or whatever. The men can make life more fun even with unconventional ways, like you said!
You just have to make sure that those Dad’s feed them…True story: when I left the boys with Tom and came home to ask how things went. He said fine…then I asked what he fed them for lunch and he got this startled look on his face and said…they weren’t hungry!! They survived but it was somewhat a “Dad moment!”